Miss Lacy
NFL Draft pick
Professor
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
Posts: 1,242
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Post by Miss Lacy on Nov 9, 2012 2:12:55 GMT -5
The reality of this constant depression is threatening to take over my life. Ironically, talking to my "in-life" friends is not an option--their well-intentioned "advice" only seems to contribute to my sadness. Possibility because they are all girls--and my problem is understanding the fixed perspective of a man. What do men really want--and value--in a relationship? Now, don't come in here and tell me rocking sex. That's a given--and no help. I am hoping for a little more "revealing" context that answers WHAT will move you to declare--I can't live without this woman.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 2:36:01 GMT -5
That's a pretty simple question for me to answer misslacy. I'm 58 yrs old. Been married twice, ten years each, have three kids and a step son. Have lived with my current girl for seventeen years. I have gone thru a lot with all three. I can give my experienced opinion in a few minutes. Have to do something first. Take my opinion for what its worth.
Edit. I know that sounds like I have failed at relationships. But not so. I still have a great relationship with both ex wives. But the third one is the one. So I have found what it takes to be happy.
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Miss Lacy
NFL Draft pick
Professor
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
Posts: 1,242
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Post by Miss Lacy on Nov 9, 2012 3:06:07 GMT -5
But the third one is the one. So I have found what it takes to be happy. Seventeen years is a long time, Craig. Although I know that longevity doesn't always make a relationship "right." So, after kicking the wheels and "test driving" the other two -- how did you know that this woman was "the one?"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 3:20:29 GMT -5
Because we have gone thru hard times together. More than I care to share here. But every time, we found we did not want to live with out each other. I'm not sure I want to talk about this serious subject here. You sound serious about this and I may be able to help. Send me a pm and we will talk there. Have you done PM's? Its the message thing at the top. Click on members and find my name, click on that and click on send personal message. I will respond. But it is getting late so maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow.
But for a quick start I will say. Your partner has to make you laugh. Theres way more of course, but if you don't make each other laugh, you have no chance. And you can't work at that. It's either is there or it isn't. You should know that after the first date. That's just lesson one.
I don't mean like lol all the time. But they have to make you smile(inside) when you see or talk to them. You have to have that in order for him to have it. If you don't have that then he can't.
Edit. I sent you a personal message. You can just read it and hit reply to respond. I take your original post serious as a legit call for help in a way. Depression is real hard.
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Post by eddiej on Nov 9, 2012 3:54:36 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Lacey, wish I lived closer I will answer for you better soon, or move closer ;D
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Miss Lacy
NFL Draft pick
Professor
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
Posts: 1,242
|
Post by Miss Lacy on Nov 9, 2012 4:32:02 GMT -5
I'd settle for raiding your liquor cabinet right now, Eddie. OMG- it's almost 4am.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 4:46:54 GMT -5
That will be ten cents.
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Miss Lacy
NFL Draft pick
Professor
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
Posts: 1,242
|
Post by Miss Lacy on Nov 9, 2012 5:03:15 GMT -5
Flipping Craig a dime. You know I love you---
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Post by Shaggzfate on Nov 9, 2012 10:43:51 GMT -5
Lacy, that really depends on the guy.
For me I want to feel needed. I can't overstate how much that means to me. If it's something as simple as running to the store for a small item, or helping with the bills, or just having her say "Thank you Justin, I needed that" It makes me feel worth it. Sort of a throw back to before our society was as evolved, but it harkens to the provider instinct.
After that, the girl needs to be open. Men really can't read between the lines most the time. There is a baited response I always hate after I ask a wobbely question.... "It's up to you" which more times means you better choose right or you and the couch will be best friends. What I'm getting at here, is for a girl, they want the guy to follow their heart and hope he makes the right choice, for the guy, he hesitates and always chooses what he feels is the safest option (until you get to the point in the relationship like craig is, where you know each other so well, you don't need words). And more times then not, it's not the right question.
Honesty is a big key for me. I can't be with someone who tells white lies or fibs... As innocent as they may seem, it builds mistrust and once that begins creeping in, then worse thoughts start creeping in. I mean, it could be something as easy as fibbing about going to a friends house because there is a sale at the mall and she knows we are short on money, but even if she tells the truth after that, the thought of what is she really doing never goes away.
We want our partners to be equals. We do not want to feel like they are yanking our chains, but at the same time, we don't want them to act like they are our slaves. We want them to laugh at our stupid jokes from time to time, granted some are so man-ish that it's really like a 14 year olds joke and there is no humor there, but others it is. We want her to smile when she see's us, to look away and blush when we say something romantic. We want to matter.
I dont want to make guys sound stupid, cause we aren't, we just use a different type of logic then women in most cases. It sounds bad, but something that a woman thinks she is making clear as day can be a dense fog for a man. It can go 2 ways, either we take it wrong and become mr arrogant ass don juan, or we play it safe and then come across uncaring or uninterested, and most times that's not our true feelings. Because the whole time when it's the second option we are thinking "Man I don't want to eff this up."
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Miss Lacy
NFL Draft pick
Professor
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
Posts: 1,242
|
Post by Miss Lacy on Nov 9, 2012 17:31:32 GMT -5
(((shaggz))) You make good sense. Gives me something to think about. Thanks for responding to my SOS.
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