Post by Miss Lacy on Sept 27, 2012 14:42:55 GMT -5
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A. Foster (8/24)
Your energy level has been especially high lately. When you come down off the ceiling could you write down the name of your breakfast cereal? (150 yards from scrimmage and 2TDs)
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Chris Johnson (9/23)
This week you will discover the first of the three big secrets of success: It's really hard to fail, if you have no purpose. (10 carries for 20 yards)
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Sam Bradford (11/8) and Danny Amendola (11/2)
St Louis needs to round up misery’s company and start their own rap group. All they need is a belief in themselves, a few rhythms and rhymes, and the ability of persuade other people to clap their hands if they believe, too. (Unfortunately, Bradford will ask Chris Clemons to sit in on the drums.)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Ryan Grant (12/9) vs Royster (11/25), Helu (12/7) and Morris (12/12)
You find that painting yourself red may do little for your own math abilities, Ryan. However, it will be a significant enough distraction for everyone else to lower the entire RB class curve. (Shanahannigans at work, once again.)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
M. Bennett (1/10) and H Nicks (1/14)
You will wrestle with a big decision on Sunday. Size up both corners accordingly but don’t get disqualified for using an illegal hold—the REAL refs are back. (NYG receivers over PHI secondary)
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Michael Turner (2/13) to Jacquizz Rodgers (2/6)
Nobody you meet any more has a normal name. Jumping on the bandwagon, you change your name from Michael to "Final Exam". (--which you then promptly flunk.)
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Santonio Holmes (3/3)
You thrive on adventure but are overly-inclined to push the button. Unfortunately, that red one stops the elevator. (Harking back to their preseason woos, SF shuts down NYJ in the red zone)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Jermichael Finley (3/26) and James Jones (3/31)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened". (GB offense burns up the NO defense)
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Cutler (4/29)
The need to control your environment has been undermining your success. (You can’t yell at your teammates and expect them to protect your blind side.) Let it go. Exact measurements are only necessary on fourth-and-one. (CHI OL helps Cutler pull off a QB sneak into the end zone.)
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
J Locker (6/15)
What can I say? It’s a good day to count your blessings… errr-- blessing. (Enjoy your bye week. Next up--the Packers come to town)
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Law Firm (7/2) and Shady McCoy (7/12)
Many seek your counsel this week. A slave to novelty, you begin dispensing advice from a make-shift booth in front of your locker. (Next week—you’re sued by your clients. JAC over CIN. PHI over NYG)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Golden Tate (8/2)
You will have trouble with the telephone this week. No matter what number you call, you reach the University of Washington Medical Center. Don't take it lightly. (Says this GB Packer fan.)
A. Foster (8/24)
Your energy level has been especially high lately. When you come down off the ceiling could you write down the name of your breakfast cereal? (150 yards from scrimmage and 2TDs)
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Chris Johnson (9/23)
This week you will discover the first of the three big secrets of success: It's really hard to fail, if you have no purpose. (10 carries for 20 yards)
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Sam Bradford (11/8) and Danny Amendola (11/2)
St Louis needs to round up misery’s company and start their own rap group. All they need is a belief in themselves, a few rhythms and rhymes, and the ability of persuade other people to clap their hands if they believe, too. (Unfortunately, Bradford will ask Chris Clemons to sit in on the drums.)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Ryan Grant (12/9) vs Royster (11/25), Helu (12/7) and Morris (12/12)
You find that painting yourself red may do little for your own math abilities, Ryan. However, it will be a significant enough distraction for everyone else to lower the entire RB class curve. (Shanahannigans at work, once again.)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
M. Bennett (1/10) and H Nicks (1/14)
You will wrestle with a big decision on Sunday. Size up both corners accordingly but don’t get disqualified for using an illegal hold—the REAL refs are back. (NYG receivers over PHI secondary)
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Michael Turner (2/13) to Jacquizz Rodgers (2/6)
Nobody you meet any more has a normal name. Jumping on the bandwagon, you change your name from Michael to "Final Exam". (--which you then promptly flunk.)
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Santonio Holmes (3/3)
You thrive on adventure but are overly-inclined to push the button. Unfortunately, that red one stops the elevator. (Harking back to their preseason woos, SF shuts down NYJ in the red zone)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Jermichael Finley (3/26) and James Jones (3/31)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened". (GB offense burns up the NO defense)
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Cutler (4/29)
The need to control your environment has been undermining your success. (You can’t yell at your teammates and expect them to protect your blind side.) Let it go. Exact measurements are only necessary on fourth-and-one. (CHI OL helps Cutler pull off a QB sneak into the end zone.)
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
J Locker (6/15)
What can I say? It’s a good day to count your blessings… errr-- blessing. (Enjoy your bye week. Next up--the Packers come to town)
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Law Firm (7/2) and Shady McCoy (7/12)
Many seek your counsel this week. A slave to novelty, you begin dispensing advice from a make-shift booth in front of your locker. (Next week—you’re sued by your clients. JAC over CIN. PHI over NYG)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Golden Tate (8/2)
You will have trouble with the telephone this week. No matter what number you call, you reach the University of Washington Medical Center. Don't take it lightly. (Says this GB Packer fan.)