inoccent
NFL Starter
Die Hard Lions Fan or Idiot #1 if you prefer
Posts: 1,751
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Post by inoccent on Jun 13, 2015 22:11:13 GMT -5
I hate it when it gets below 80 here. The only time it is acceptable to cool down is when I'm going to bed. Otherwise keep it warm enough to lay out on the boat and keep Lake Michigan warm! Follow me at inoccent1.wordpress.com/ for Lions, Pistons, Tigers, and WWE new. This is my practice for my eventual career so don't hold back the criticism! I like the big picture. Is Laken Tomlinson going to go by LT? haha. I didn't navigate anything, is that the first and only article so far? I'm not sure what your eventual career is so I'm not an expert, but If I was to go to a web site like that for San Diego I would want it to have something that makes it stand out. Like maybe a little personal thing about Laken. The stats of the contract can be read anywhere. I would want to see something that makes you stand out. Even a funny story about him or something. You know what I'm saying? Something that makes your site different. Like I said I'm no expert but you need a gimmick of some kind that makes you different. Good luck. I'll keep checking in. Edit. Or maybe pose a question at the end of the article. Something to get people talking or debating. Edit 2. Or give an opinion on the article from you. Something that may be controversial. Be an ass hole everyone loves to hate. haha. Just another thought. People love to go to sites and bash ass holes. You know like give a positive opinion about the signing or better yet a negative one. (I only have the one article to reference) I love the advice. I'm looking to be a sports journalist, and figured a blog would be an easy way to practice and hone my writing skills. I'm wanting to use you guys as test dummies (not insulting ) because everyone here is a sports fan. I just got the one article for now, I'm hoping to have time tomorrow to get a couple more out I've been working on while I sit at work. Thanks for reading! Edit: when I saw the notification on my phone that we drafted Tomlinson, it said "the lions draft L. Tomlinson with the 28th pick." Not gonna lie, I immediately thought it was Ladainian. Follow me at inoccent1.wordpress.com/ for Lions, Pistons, Tigers, and WWE new. This is my practice for my eventual career so don't hold back the criticism!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2015 0:09:10 GMT -5
The fact you are practicing/testing is great. And yes we may be a good audience to test the market/skills you have. Lets do this.
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Post by Divebitch on Jun 14, 2015 6:51:28 GMT -5
"The Lions have reached an agreement with first round pick, Laken Tomlinson, for a four year deal. Financial terms have not yet been disclosed, but it should be close to the same as last years 1) 28th pick, Kelvin Benjamin’s deal; $7.66 million with $6.19 guaranteed over 4 years.
Tomlinson was the Lions’ last draft pick to be signed, joining 2) follow rookies: Ameer Abdullah (2nd round), Alex Carter (3rd round), Gabe Wright (4th round), Michael Burton (5th round), Quandre Diggs (6th round), and Corey Robinson (7th round).
Tomlinson is expected to replace longtime starter, Rob Sims, who wasn’t resigned by the Lions this offseason, at left guard. With Sims and Dominic Raiola no longer with the team, the most experienced lineman is now left tackle Riley Reiff in his 4th year 3) with the team, making the Lions offensive line one of the youngest groups in the NFL."
1) Seems you assume your audience knows Laken was also 28th overall. I sure didn't, so I would throw that in. Would've thought the Lions picked much earlier. Obviously a deal/trade result. So my first thought was 'What's Benjamin got to do with it? Diff position too.' After confirming both were 28th, I wondered if same picks have similar monetary values. I really don't know. If that's the case, my bad. If not, confusing.
2) Very minor, but this is only actual error I found, a spelling and/or grammatical combo. Correction: a) the following rookies: or b) fellow rookies Ameer etc (no ':') - 'b' is better.
3) Also very minor, but strike it, superfluous.
Good job overall.
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Post by Morkim on Jun 14, 2015 11:29:57 GMT -5
"The Lions have reached an agreement with first round pick, Laken Tomlinson, for a four year deal. Financial terms have not yet been disclosed, but it should be close to the same as last years 1) 28th pick, Kelvin Benjamin’s deal; $7.66 million with $6.19 guaranteed over 4 years. Tomlinson was the Lions’ last draft pick to be signed, joining 2) follow rookies: Ameer Abdullah (2nd round), Alex Carter (3rd round), Gabe Wright (4th round), Michael Burton (5th round), Quandre Diggs (6th round), and Corey Robinson (7th round). Tomlinson is expected to replace longtime starter, Rob Sims, who wasn’t resigned by the Lions this offseason, at left guard. With Sims and Dominic Raiola no longer with the team, the most experienced lineman is now left tackle Riley Reiff in his 4th year 3) with the team, making the Lions offensive line one of the youngest groups in the NFL." 1) Seems you assume your audience knows Laken was also 28th overall. I sure didn't, so I would throw that in. Would've thought the Lions picked much earlier. Obviously a deal/trade result. So my first thought was 'What's Benjamin got to do with it? Diff position too.' After confirming both were 28th, I wondered if same picks have similar monetary values. I really don't know. If that's the case, my bad. If not, confusing. 2) Very minor, but this is only actual error I found, a spelling and/or grammatical combo. Correction: a) the following rookies: or b) f ellow rookies Ameer etc (no ':') - 'b' is better. 3) Also very minor, but strike it, superfluous. Good job overall. Under the new CBA you pretty much get paid by where you are drafted. Position doesn't matter until your franchise tagged or getting a new contract.
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Post by Juggs on Jun 14, 2015 11:55:14 GMT -5
"The Lions have reached an agreement with first round pick, Laken Tomlinson, for a four year deal. Financial terms have not yet been disclosed, but it should be close to the same as last years 1) 28th pick, Kelvin Benjamin’s deal; $7.66 million with $6.19 guaranteed over 4 years. Tomlinson was the Lions’ last draft pick to be signed, joining 2) follow rookies: Ameer Abdullah (2nd round), Alex Carter (3rd round), Gabe Wright (4th round), Michael Burton (5th round), Quandre Diggs (6th round), and Corey Robinson (7th round). Tomlinson is expected to replace longtime starter, Rob Sims, who wasn’t resigned by the Lions this offseason, at left guard. With Sims and Dominic Raiola no longer with the team, the most experienced lineman is now left tackle Riley Reiff in his 4th year 3) with the team, making the Lions offensive line one of the youngest groups in the NFL." 1) Seems you assume your audience knows Laken was also 28th overall. I sure didn't, so I would throw that in. Would've thought the Lions picked much earlier. Obviously a deal/trade result. So my first thought was 'What's Benjamin got to do with it? Diff position too.' After confirming both were 28th, I wondered if same picks have similar monetary values. I really don't know. If that's the case, my bad. If not, confusing. 2) Very minor, but this is only actual error I found, a spelling and/or grammatical combo. Correction: a) the following rookies: or b) f ellow rookies Ameer etc (no ':') - 'b' is better. 3) Also very minor, but strike it, superfluous. Good job overall. Under the new CBA you pretty much get paid by where you are drafted. Position doesn't matter until your franchise tagged or getting a new contract. I've been trying to figure out if this is true and can't seem to find anyone talking about whether or not positional value makes any difference anymore.
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Post by Morkim on Jun 14, 2015 12:32:17 GMT -5
Under the new CBA you pretty much get paid by where you are drafted. Position doesn't matter until your franchise tagged or getting a new contract. I've been trying to figure out if this is true and can't seem to find anyone talking about whether or not positional value makes any difference anymore. Eric fisher is making the same money as Luck and Clowney.
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inoccent
NFL Starter
Die Hard Lions Fan or Idiot #1 if you prefer
Posts: 1,751
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Post by inoccent on Jun 14, 2015 18:18:45 GMT -5
I've been trying to figure out if this is true and can't seem to find anyone talking about whether or not positional value makes any difference anymore. Eric fisher is making the same money as Luck and Clowney. I assumed that they did with all the analysts talking like that's how is goes but I should have founded out if it was true. Follow me at inoccent1.wordpress.com/ for Lions, Pistons, Tigers, and WWE new. This is my practice for my eventual career so don't hold back the criticism!
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Post by Juggs on Jun 14, 2015 18:38:25 GMT -5
I've been trying to figure out if this is true and can't seem to find anyone talking about whether or not positional value makes any difference anymore. Eric fisher is making the same money as Luck and Clowney. No, he isn't.
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Post by Morkim on Jun 14, 2015 19:00:57 GMT -5
Eric fisher is making the same money as Luck and Clowney. No, he isn't. He's not making 22 million dollars? Show me where this is false? Unless you're being super technical about a few thousand here or there. Which is explained by league cap growth.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2015 18:24:36 GMT -5
Good. No more indoctrination and common core.
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