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Post by Jindred on May 6, 2015 0:43:11 GMT -5
Yeah, I had to ask...I appreciate this guys and gals...I'm pretty sure she probably blocked my number. So the only chance I have is to run into her, which would be almost impossible seeing as we live an hr away from each other, but who knows... I don't have much to contribute seeing as how I have never actually been in a relationship. What I will say is that this your first attempt back out on the open market after being taken for what I assume is a while, like 4 or 5 years married? You can't expect the first shot out of the gate to be perfect especially when you are rusty. She may be a great girl but there are other great ones out there, take this one as a beta test where you were working out the kinks of dating again.
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Miss Lacy
NFL Draft pick
Professor
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
Posts: 1,242
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Post by Miss Lacy on May 6, 2015 17:36:43 GMT -5
Sadly, for me at least, this little love pursuit is dead. She drop the bomb on me this morning. Told me stop texting and not to respond! I'm a softie so I was crushed...I wanted answers, but you misslacy, have given me all that I need. I guess I was more in denial than anything. I kinda knew she she wasn't feeling me, but I put the nail in the coffin last Friday...I wish I had played this waaaayyy cooler but I let my emotions ruin things and run her away...I feel like I just lost the Super Bowl... I'm sorry I missed the pre-date? You're young, my dear. But it appears you're also very passionate-- a trait we women DO covet and appreciate. (Just ask Dive. ) So, if you learn from this experience-- and maybe heed a little of our advice-- your next "pursuit" could result in more than a "little love," and not end with you feeling "crushed" because you were in "denial." So....you lost the Superbowl. Get over it. The next season is starting very soon. Besides, even the husband of a supermodel and a reigning NFL Champion makes mistakes, too.
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
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Post by theWILLmckoy on May 7, 2015 12:31:32 GMT -5
Sadly, for me at least, this little love pursuit is dead. She drop the bomb on me this morning. Told me stop texting and not to respond! I'm a softie so I was crushed...I wanted answers, but you misslacy, have given me all that I need. I guess I was more in denial than anything. I kinda knew she she wasn't feeling me, but I put the nail in the coffin last Friday...I wish I had played this waaaayyy cooler but I let my emotions ruin things and run her away...I feel like I just lost the Super Bowl... I'm sorry I missed the pre-date? You're young, my dear. But it appears you're also very passionate-- a trait we women DO covet and appreciate. (Just ask Dive. ) So, if you learn from this experience-- and maybe heed a little of our advice-- your next "pursuit" could result in more than a "little love," and not end with you feeling "crushed" because you were in "denial." So....you lost the Superbowl. Get over it. The next season is starting very soon. Besides, even the husband of a supermodel and a reigning NFL Champion makes mistakes, too. I know, but I want her and only her...I can't stop think of Janell...I don't think I'll ever be able to forget her...should I try to contact her on Mother's Day and make amends?
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Post by steelers54 on May 7, 2015 12:48:02 GMT -5
Ya can't always get what ya if I may borrow a line from The Rolling Stones. DO NOT an I repeat DO NOT TEXT OR CALL her. If you know her address send her a Mother's Day card IF YOU MUST JUST WRITE A SIMPLE I'm SORRY a friend. Other wise she may go to the POLICE and say that you are STALKING her and trust me you will not want that to happen.
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
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Post by theWILLmckoy on May 7, 2015 15:04:01 GMT -5
Ya can't always get what ya if I may borrow a line from The Rolling Stones. DO NOT an I repeat DO NOT TEXT OR CALL her. If you know her address send her a Mother's Day card IF YOU MUST JUST WRITE A SIMPLE I'm SORRY a friend. Other wise she may go to the POLICE and say that you are STALKING her and trust me you will not want that to happen. I don't have her address, so that wouldn't be possible, but that's not a terrible idea. I've thought of sending her more flowers for Mother's Day, I don't want to send them to her job. I just wish I had another shot you know? I mean, yeah I might've been a pest, but atleast I was kind pest...hahahaha....
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Post by Divebitch on May 7, 2015 15:22:27 GMT -5
I know, but I want her and only her...I can't stop think of Janell...I don't think I'll ever be able to forget her...should I try to contact her on Mother's Day and make amends? So you can either accept that after the briefest of interactions she's the only one, and that'll take years to get over. OR choose the sane route, and see the situation for what it is. Sorry, gonna be very blunt here cuz you're starting to sound delusional. There are no amends she wants to make. Do you not see anyway that contact on Mothers Day would only be a reminder of why she wants nothing to do with you?!?! steelers54 idea of a card isn't terrible - but not for Mothers Day. The purpose would be to apologize, and let her know she's not dealing with a 'potential problem'. Nothing about how beautiful or wonderful she is. You don't know her, and she already does. It would contain mostly 'I' statements, i.e. you feel new at this again, got ahead of yourself, not enough thought to boundaries et al. It would have a 'no harm, no foul' air about it with a hint of humor, self-effacing, without totally closing the door. I can almost guarantee you any mention of the possibility of future contact will end badly. My best advice would be to move on. It's likely hopeless. Before you do, read the advice closely, and do a good deal of introspection. Take stock in yourself. And know that you have a lot to offer. But also know that coming on too strong too early is the biggest turnoff on earth to most women - and men.
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Post by 101mitch on May 7, 2015 15:41:56 GMT -5
First of all, I disagree with some people. I don't think you should take what people are saying as what you have to do. If we tell you to do something, but you disagree, do your own thing.
Second, I think this seems to be lost. At least wait until your current situation is dealt with, take a little while to think, and then get back into the dating field.
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Post by packdog on May 7, 2015 16:57:02 GMT -5
don't try to understand women. women understand women...and they hate each other
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Post by Jindred on May 7, 2015 17:10:47 GMT -5
Ya can't always get what ya if I may borrow a line from The Rolling Stones. DO NOT an I repeat DO NOT TEXT OR CALL her. If you know her address send her a Mother's Day card IF YOU MUST JUST WRITE A SIMPLE I'm SORRY a friend. Other wise she may go to the POLICE and say that you are STALKING her and trust me you will not want that to happen. I don't have her address, so that wouldn't be possible, but that's not a terrible idea. I've thought of sending her more flowers for Mother's Day, I don't want to send them to her job. I just wish I had another shot you know? I mean, yeah I might've been a pest, but atleast I was kind pest...hahahaha.... I would really strongly suggest not sending her anything. I agree with 101mitch that you gotta do your own thing, but she seems to be put off right now by the amount of attention you have given her, and I think giving more will do nothing but drive her further away. You gotta read the signals she is giving you, and right now it seems to be a back off signal, if you do anything like send flowers or a card, its gonna start seeming stalkerish. I think an issue you are facing, is that you are just getting out of a long committed relationship, and you have likely forgotten how to keep things light at the beginning of a new relationship. Most people aren't looking for intense commitment right away, they want to keep it light and fun, and then if they find that they might have something after a bit they will start getting more invested. What you know right now is the invested part, and from the little I get from what you say you seem to be jumping straight to that. My recommendation, take it for what its worth. Just back right off for a while, try and turn down the intensity level a little bit, get used to being single, then try a few really casual dates. Then maybe at some point a few months down the road if you still want to try it out with this girl, contact her with something along the lines of. "Hey there, how are things? I just wanted to say sorry for the way I acted, as you know I was just getting out of a long term relationship and I was still in that mode, so I got a little intense at the prospect of a relationship." Although it should be in your words, heartfelt and better said lol. Then if she responds you can go from there. That of course is purely just a recommendations, you gotta do what you gotta do.
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
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Post by theWILLmckoy on May 7, 2015 17:59:22 GMT -5
I know, but I want her and only her...I can't stop think of Janell...I don't think I'll ever be able to forget her...should I try to contact her on Mother's Day and make amends? So you can either accept that after the briefest of interactions she's the only one, and that'll take years to get over. OR choose the sane route, and see the situation for what it is. Sorry, gonna be very blunt here cuz you're starting to sound delusional. There are no amends she wants to make. Do you not see anyway that contact on Mothers Day would only be a reminder of why she wants nothing to do with you?!?! steelers54 idea of a card isn't terrible - but not for Mothers Day. The purpose would be to apologize, and let her know she's not dealing with a 'potential problem'. Nothing about how beautiful or wonderful she is. You don't know her, and she already does. It would contain mostly 'I' statements, i.e. you feel new at this again, got ahead of yourself, not enough thought to boundaries et al. It would have a 'no harm, no foul' air about it with a hint of humor, self-effacing, without totally closing the door. I can almost guarantee you any mention of the possibility of future contact will end badly. My best advice would be to move on. It's likely hopeless. Before you do, read the advice closely, and do a good deal of introspection. Take stock in yourself. And know that you have a lot to offer. But also know that coming on too strong too early is the biggest turnoff on earth to most women - and men. Ok Dive, I'll refrain from contacting her at all...
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