theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
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Post by theWILLmckoy on Apr 18, 2015 3:41:55 GMT -5
ms of should I post else where?
There, got my title out of the way now here's the nitty gritty. I got the digits from a lovely young lady the day I quit my job last week. I'd seen her around during my stint working there and always thought she was gorgeous, but never had the...to approach her. Not to mention that I'm married, now soon to be seperated, and always thought she was out of my league. The fact that I even have her number is still stunning to me. She's a classy independent type of woman. I've never courted anyone with her social/economic stature and don't want to screw it up! Last night she texted me she was having a glass of wine and I knew I had to really step my game up!
I may have gone too far though. Her bday is Tuesday and I decided to send her a birthday flower cake to her office. We've been texting everyday, but I've been somewhat calculated with it. The day after she gave me her number is when I decided to text her, which I feel was still too soon. Then of course I couldn't resist the good morning text the next day. I'm really afraid if coming on too strong. I was looking up some advice on dating/texting and I've been doing it wrong according to a lot of people. What do you guys and girls think?
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Post by gobolts25 on Apr 18, 2015 6:22:23 GMT -5
There are opposing schools of thought on that. Next day shows interest, but it could scare her off. Texting is also a little bit less personal than calling her. All depends on the person. As long as you're being funny and not sappy you should be fine. You could also try asking her advice about something unrelated to your hound dogging...changes the subject a bit and shows her opinion matters. Whatever you do, DON'T mention the marital situation unless she asks, at least till much later on.
Next, cancel that cake YESTERDAY. Instead, text her over the weekend, asking her, "So what do you want for your birthday? (smiley or emoji)" in your own style. And take it from there. If she starts getting weird, just say that you were only asking.
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
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Post by theWILLmckoy on Apr 18, 2015 8:19:51 GMT -5
There are opposing schools of thought on that. Next day shows interest, but it could scare her off. Texting is also a little bit less personal than calling her. All depends on the person. As long as you're being funny and not sappy you should be fine. You could also try asking her advice about something unrelated to your hound dogging...changes the subject a bit and shows her opinion matters. Whatever you do, DON'T mention the marital situation unless she asks, at least till much later on. Next, cancel that cake YESTERDAY. Instead, text her over the weekend, asking her, "So what do you want for your birthday? (smiley or emoji)" in your own style. And take it from there. If she starts getting weird, just say that you were only asking. Ooohhh nooooo! Cancel the cake?!?!? But why??? I thought it was nice gesture. She won't suspect it and it's got her favorite color in it...
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Post by Divebitch on Apr 18, 2015 8:36:41 GMT -5
IDK know a b-day 'flower' cake is, but I'm with gobolts, cancel it NOW. On the b-day questions, I'd keep it light. Like "Any big plans?". A b-day is the perfect chance to gauge her interest unless she has specific plans, dinner with GFs, a show, etc.
Lemme preface this by saying I'm old school, and will not text unless there is a VERY good reason a phone call would be unwelcome. Goes to show ya what a world of wimps we've become to worry about a simple text being too forward. Day after is NOT too soon. To me, anything longer than 2 days, 3 TOPS, an insult. IOW, a call the next day says 1) he's very interested, and 2) has the confidence to go after what he wants with no thought whatsoever how 'desperate' it may look. It's attractive - but seems you're past that.
'Soon to be separated', if for real, meaning within a few months, shouldn't be a dealbreaker depending on age and circumstance. Trust me, living situation (much less marital status) should come up soon in just normal conversation. Obviously never lie. Be prepared to say what needs to be known without rehashing ugliness. Common sense.
This part may be obvious. You say she's a certain social/economic echelon, and you just QUIT your job. Not asking for details, none of my/our biz. But if this is a mature, attractive, successful woman, this will be the red flag that may most need to be addressed.
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
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Post by theWILLmckoy on Apr 18, 2015 8:44:41 GMT -5
IDK know a b-day 'flower' cake is, but I'm with gobolts, cancel it NOW. On the b-day questions, I'd keep it light. Like "Any big plans?". A b-day is the perfect chance to gauge her interest unless she has specific plans, dinner with GFs, a show, etc. Lemme preface this by saying I'm old school, and will not text unless there is a VERY good reason a phone call would be unwelcome. Goes to show ya what a world of wimps we've become to worry about a simple text being too forward. Day after is NOT too soon. To me, anything longer than 2 days, 3 TOPS, an insult. IOW, a call the next day says 1) he's very interested, and 2) has the confidence to go after what he wants with no thought whatsoever how 'desperate' it may look. It's attractive - but seems you're past that. 'Soon to be separated', if for real, meaning within a few months, shouldn't be a dealbreaker depending on age and circumstance. Trust me, living situation (much less marital status) should come up soon in just normal conversation. Obviously never lie. Be prepared to say what needs to be known without rehashing ugliness. Common sense. This part may be obvious. You say she's a certain social/ economic echelon, and you just QUIT your job. Not asking for details, none of my/our biz. But if this is a mature, attractive, successful woman, this will be the red flag that may most need to be addressed. Thanks for the advice Dive. You and Bolts seem like gurus lol. I guess I'll go ahead and cancel the cake. I can't ignore two strong opinions. Did I mention it's not a real cake just flowers in the shape of one? Just want to avoid confusion...the crazy thing is Dive is that I asked for her number when knew I had just quit! That's what makes this so bizarre. She seemed intrigued and supportive of my decision.
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Post by Divebitch on Apr 18, 2015 10:21:30 GMT -5
Well, I've been in more 'almost' or 'sorta' dating than most. So while some were piss poor choices, I know what works for me, at least early on. No, you didn't mention it was flowers and not a cake. Now it's not so terrible, maybe a little humorous. IDK How often you 'text' or heaven forbid 'talk'. To me, you dick around (pardon my French) a notesie here, a notesie there, it would die on the vine. Sorry, IDK how it works today, to me it'd be a total buzzkill, finished b4 it started anti-climactic.
"I asked for her number when knew I had just quit!" You mean "she knew", right? Good.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2015 11:21:21 GMT -5
The flower cake at work seems a bit to soon to me also. She may not be sharing anything with her co workers and that would make the cake an embarrasment for her. You could send it from an anonomous admirer. That would be cool I would think and she would know who its from. It would give her the option to say something about you to her co workers or just play along that she has a secret admirer.
sorry for my spelling, just got up.
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
|
Post by theWILLmckoy on Apr 18, 2015 11:37:39 GMT -5
Well, I've been in more 'almost' or 'sorta' dating than most. So while some were piss poor choices, I know what works for me, at least early on. No, you didn't mention it was flowers and not a cake. Now it's not so terrible, maybe a little humorous. IDK How often you 'text' or heaven forbid 'talk'. To me, you dick around (pardon my French) a notesie here, a notesie there, it would die on the vine. Sorry, IDK how it works today, to me it'd be a total buzzkill, finished b4 it started anti-climactic. "I asked for her number when knew I had just quit!" You mean " she knew", right? Good. I don't text her often. We have text session once a day and we talked on the phone once a few days ago. My plan is to not contact her at all or maybe until Sunday night and just let the flower cake do the talking Tuesday. Yes she knew I had just quit. She's actually a talent acquisition rep so it's kind of ironic.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2015 11:39:34 GMT -5
Just curious, do you wear a wedding ring?
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theWILLmckoy
Heisman Candidate
WE LIVE AS KINGS, BUT JESUS IS GOD! - Swoope
Posts: 905
|
Post by theWILLmckoy on Apr 18, 2015 11:41:06 GMT -5
The flower cake at work seems a bit to soon to me also. She may not be sharing anything with her co workers and that would make the cake an embarrasment for her. You could send it from an anonomous admirer. That would be cool I would think and she would know who its from. It would give her the option to say something about you to her co workers or just play along that she has a secret admirer. sorry for my spelling, just got up. Those were thoughts too after the advice from Dive and Bolts. I kept thinking why wouldn't she like it and then if hit me: she could be embarrased. Thing is, the whole number exchange happened in front of a co worker so that's at least one person who knows. But I think it's the only person who does and would know who the flowers are from.
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